LEMON EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!

The way that the playoffs outlook is shaping up is a lot like trying to throw a lemon into my mom's drink while sitting at Outback in Las Vegas, NV.

1.  Willie is in first because it only takes him one toss.
2. Katie is on the outside looking in because she can't make it to save her LIFE!
3. Michael is in the running because he will always keep trying.
4. aaaaaand Andy is on the fence because the whole room is shaking, he is very cold, but he's no quitter!

 (That was a quick recap for those who were angry that there was not a post about Vegas.)

Going into last week, there was a GIANT pack in the middle and a win means a HUGE upper hand on making the playoffs.  The four pack at 7-3 (Mic, Luke, Chad, and Ray-J) are looking pretty good barring a natural disaster or the entire NFL decides to stop playing for the rest of the season.

The bubble is getting bigger with Gridiron Grandma holding down the last spot into the playoff, but she is going head to "Header" this week, and Header is on a THREE GAME WIN STREAK!  (remember when she only had 1 win and that was against Not last again, who by the way IS last again?)  This bubble is about to burst on somebody, and it may be Pay Attention because he is going up against the 3 knuckled squirrel who finally found his "i'm almost in first place" nut that he hid away 3 weeks ago!

THIS FANTASY SEASON IS AWESOME!! and I'm not saying that just cause I'm in first place and just lost to Ray and LJ.  I'm saying it because each week, it can be anybody's game! And, I  am looking forward to seeing the weeks play out.


Also, enjoy this video..

Playoffs?!?

Well ladies, gentleman, and Aunt Colleen.  We are now entering the homestretch!  Thinking about playoff seeding and who is OUT is upon us.  No one has technically clinched, and DEFINITELY no one is technically out yet.  With four people at 6-3, three people at 4-5, and four teams at 3-6 this is a tight horse race, with Dog lookin' like Zenyatta (minus the past history of actually MAKING a comeback).  One big reason for the bunch up of teams is the fact the the strong start from the 3 Knuckled Squirrel has come to an extreme halt as a 3-game skid has put his team back into the land of the mediocre.

The current playoff seedings are set as follows:

1. Greenwood Rattlers (8-1)
2. 3 Knuckled Squirrel (6-3)
3. All Eyes on Mic (6-3)
4. flyswatters (6-3)
5. For Da Love of Ray-J (6-3)
6. The Pretty Boys (5-4)
7. Redeem Team (4-5)
8. Gridiron Grandma (4-5)

Outside looking in -- Colleen T, Jeff Saturday Matis, The Hospital, Header, (Not) Last Again, and Pay Attention

We can now talk about big wins and key losses for the teams on the bubble.  Micky's Redeem team had a HUGE win this week against Andy's Pretty Boys.  That win kept him from extending his losing streak to 6 and putting him at the top of the bubble teams!

Gridiron Grandma also put her team in the driver's seat with a win of the SURPRISING flyswatters who was kept from the top spot in the Aunt Janie Division.  A win for the flyswatters would've meant number one in the division and SOLE possession of the second seed.

A moral victory that COULD turn into something nice is a route by Header over (Not) Last again... the reason for the parentheses is the fact that Dog IS last again!

This post was to make everyone in the league aware that the playoffs are upon us.  First round begins in Week 14.  I also wanted to state YET AGAIN that the STABLE of Adrian Peterson, Rashard Mendenhall,  and Cedric Benson just goes to show who the front runner for commisioner of the year is and that is the commisioner of the Greenwood Rattlers!  (keeeeep drafting those receivers as i swoop up THREE starting running backs with no back up to steal carries away hahaaaaa)

Another side not, this week starts on THURSDAY.. I repeat THURSDAY.  Do not forget to set your lineup!

Love you all.

Biological Clock Scene from My Cousin Vinny

My first post

Hey Everybody!

Just wanted to let you all know that I have been given the okay to start adding things to the Team Matis blog. It is an honor to just be nominated to join the ranks of such greatness and I hope, nay, I know will not disappoint. My only fear is that I don't proofread my posts before submitting them because I know that they will be littered with mis-spellings and probably more than enough run on sentences. (Thanks Mrs. Miles). This all being said, and I hope I'm not stepping on anyone's toes here but I would like to recap the last week of fantasy football.



HUGE high five to Luke for finally taking down the one man wrecking crew that is the 3 knuckled squirrel. Luke, you didn't even just squeak it out either, you swatted that fly to the tune of a 41 point beat down. Is the tide turning atop the Aunt Janie division? Luke has won his last 5 games and is looking to continue the streak against Heather this weekend.

What has happened to early unbeaten's? Micky and Colleen are both spiralling out of control with 4 game losing streaks after starting the season 3-0. I think the redeem team has some redeeming to do if they want to save their season.

Plain Grandma, I think you should just stop watching Monday Night Football. It seems every week is right in the thick of things going into MNF and it has seemed to bite you every week.

Not last again....your in last....again

Liam showed who the man in the relationship was this weekend by thrashing Mrs Jeff Saturday by a total of 40 points. But honestly, KT would have lost to Average Joes III if he were still in the league. 49 points KT? To quote Mrs Saturday via facebook "My fantasy team is straight poop", I couldnt agree more. Although it doesnt help when Peyton is on a bye, Donald Driver doesnt catch a pass (something he hasn't done in 140 straight games) and your best running back has been out since week one. But Liam's team needs another injury like Vincent Laguardia Gambini needs to worry about how Mona Lisa Vito's biological clock is ticking. (See above)

Willie, you better watch out cause I am nipping at your toes. Well, I think your safe for the moment seeing how I have 4 1/2 regular starters on a bye week this week including all of my running backs. Awesome! Ray J, I think you got me this week.

Happy Halloween,

Love Mic



P.S. Any good costume ideas?

22

Apologies all around!

Well, well, well!  Another week is in the books for the Greatest Family Fantasy Football League, and as always the nature of family is to apologize for embarassing one another and even hurting a relatives feelings... Here is a list of apologies from throughout the league...

1) Chad to Micky --

"Micky:  I am terribly sorry for handing you your third loss in three straight weeks after starting the season 3-0.  It was awful of me to lead you on all the way into Monday Night Football, and then watching my first round draft pick (Chris Johnson aka "Christ" Johnson, since he was my Savior) run up and down on the Jags to propel me to a convincing win against Hardy's Herd.  I hope you accept this apology from the bottom of my heart."  (Chad turns away and mumbles "YES my team is so much better than Heather's!!")

2) Mic to now GODSON, Ray, and LJ --

"Hey guys... I hope the decision of starting Deji Karim does not stick with you two for the rest of your lives.  Because that would be a lot of years of regret.  However, I do sincerely apologize for holding baby Ray, standing in front of the Lord, and accepting the commitment of leading you in the Christian faith... aaaand then beating you with a team full of average performers that put together a good team score!"  (Mic turns away and thinks to himself.. "Man I hope they are too young to remember this")

3) Andy to Plain Gma --

"Remember all of those times when you blew the whistle at family Christmas, and I would go deaf for 5 to 10 minutes before realizing what the HECK that noise was?  Yeah.. I DO NOT apologize for beating you this week..  Sorry I'm not sorry!"

4) Heather to Dog --

(Before Heather can get a word in) Dog says, "No need to apologize.. I know that my team is awful, and in past seasons I would just blame it on Sammy.. BUT this year I drafted my own BAD team"

5) Sammy to Colleen --

"Aunt Colleen, I'm really sorry for beating you even when I start Earnest Graham who scored 0 points.  I'm sorry for letting my defense and kicker both score 10, and I'm just sorry."  (Sammy turns around and gently fist pumps)  (Colleen walks away mumbling under her breath, "#&$$&!! %&*@$&!! F**in prick!")

6) Luke to Katie --

Luke says, "I'm really sorry that both of our teams did terrible this week and that yours was even worse than mine".. Katie replies, "Yeah I'm really sorry that I started all of those players that scored less than 5 points.  I didn't mean to make it look like I was giving up a win to you"

7) Willie to Liam --

"Liam, Liam, Liam... I'm just sorry that Katie had to drag you into this league!  However, I'm glad that she has someone who loves her SOO much that he is willing to lose just as many times as she has.  I apologize for giving you a inkling of hope that Marcedes Lewis miiiight give you a chance to makea  comback.. It won't happen again!  I miss the EskimoPies"

From the way that these apologies were put.. I think we could all learn something from Miss Brenda Lee who contacted me wanting to guest post a video blog... Take it away Brenda...

More Fantasy!!

WHOOOOOWEEEEEE!  What a week for the Greatest Family IV Fantasy League!

We had blowouts, we had close games, we had teams relying on the Sunday night players to hang on for dear life!  WE HAD IT ALL!

First off, I'd just like to thank (yet again) my expertise in drafting running backs in the first three rounds because my THIRD pick, yes THIRD, in a losing effort nonetheless earned myself 21 points.  Thank you Cedric Benson (he scored twice as much as AP).  And sorry Micky for stomping you into the ground.

Second of all, Chad!  Wooooow Chad!  You must be REEEAAAALLY happy about that fourth quarter in Dallas by the Titans.  Everytime, they would just get it close, and then punch it in with Chris Johnson.  That saved your undefeated season right there.  TWO RUSHING TOUCHDOWNS IN THE 4TH QUARTER?!? Really?  Brian Cushing was back, and everyone in the league thought that you had no chance.  TWO TOUCHDOWNS IN THE FOURTH QUARTER! both were 1-yarders.  Well, congratulations, that IS what you get from Chris Johnson, and sorry Andy because I thought you had it in the bag.

Third of all, and probably my favorite story of all is the close one between Gridiron Grandma (Plain Gma) and Not last again... (Dog).  A great division rivalry in the Greatest Family Fantasy League!  Probably the closest margin of victory in the 4 year history of our league, Gridiron Grandma won by 0.48 points.  (The last time we saw that number was Michael's first semester in Bloomington.)  This game was a must-win from the Not last againers, but the team showed why they earned that team name and will probably end up, LAST again! 

Around the rest of the league:
1) BIG win for All Eyes On Mic, finally getting his vengeance on the low scoring, but high winning Colleen T
        Final Score: 135.68 - 81.44

2)  The Pretty Boys were able to hold off division rival Jeff Saturday Matis from climbing the ranks with a big victory thanks to a big game from the ever surprising Boilermaker, Kyle Orton
        Final Score: 85.26 - 63.16

3) You gotta love the tag team effort from the little ones or Liam just had some sympathy for LJ and Big Play Ray.. For do Love of Ray-J pulled it out!
       Final Score: 117.68 - 102.14

4) And the last game, pretty uneventful in my eyes other than the Most Improved Manager candidate, Luke Matis keeping one-time (undefeated I might add) Header at a dismal 0-5 record.  flyswatters swatted Header back to the bottom of the Aunt Janie Division
        Final Score: 96.34 - 75.24


I love you all!  The second fourth of the season is shaping up to be a good one! GO HORSE

CHECK IT OOOOOUT!!

GREATEST FAMILY
FANTASY FOOTBALL UPDATES!

Aunt Janie Division
1. 3 Knuckled Squirrel 4-0-0
3. Hardy's Herd 3-1-0
4. flyswatters 3-1-0
8. Pay Attention 2-2-0
10. Gridiron Grandma 1-3-0 
13. Header 0-4-0
14. Not last again 0-4-0

Aunt Connie Division

2. Greenwood Rattlers 3-1-0
5. For da Love of Ray-J 3-1-0
6. Colleen T 3-1-0
7. All Eyes on Mic 2-2-0
9. The Pretty boys 2-2-0
11. Jeff Saturday Matis 1-3-0
12. EdmontonEskimoPies 1-3-0


The league is shaping up to be a tough one to get a win in, unless you're great!  Looking at strength of divisions, it depends on which stat you go by!  Fantasy football is A LOT about how many points you put up from week to week, but making it to the playoffs is ALLLLLL about getting the "W".  Going by wins and losses, the obvious winner is the Aunt Connie division, sure they don't have the undefeated, but at least everyone in the division has one win.  This division also has the TITANIC 3-1 team of Colleen T, I mean how great must it be to be the second lowest scorer in the league by ONLY 2 POINTS and still have three wins! Wow must be nice...

[Speaking of scoring I must issue a quiet apology to Sweet Ray and LJ:

"I'm really sorry for scoring so many points against you!  It must have

been the EXCELLENT strategy of taking 3 running backs in the first

3 rounds INSTEAD of jumping on the WR bandwagon HOOOOOO

BABAAAAAAAY!!!!!]

Anyways,  the Aunt Janie division does have an argument about saying that points scored mean everything, but sorry this isn't NASCAR.

To take a turn from Fantasy, I wanted to just give a quick update to those who are wondering about the 56 St. Jude Football team.  They are now currently 1-3, I believe after a fantastic win this past weekend!  Sammy had a Ray Lewis-esque block to send AJ Allen into the endzone, and just like always Luke is lovin' his food by continuing to get pancake after pancake on the Offensive Line!

STAY TUUUUUUNED for more fantasy football talk, and more Matis Family updates

Love you and God Bless!